au_whisper_web/tests/audio_files/en_alien.txt

Alright, well, now that I've sufficiently trashed this place, I think we're good to-
Oh, oh, not done trashing just yet!
Wait a minute, cause-
No, that's not gonna blow.
Guys, I have been addicted to Voices of the Void. This game is so good.
And I'm proud to announce that after many, many hours, I have finally made contact with Alien Life.
It might have just been a naked guy in the woods, though, now that I'm looking at a freeze frame here.
But regardless, I did make contact with it, and it did scare me so very bad.
This was live-streamed, so if you like the videos, come check out the streams.
Oh, hey, Maxwell! Forgot about you.
How you doing? Okay, let's pet him.
Oh, he loves to be petted.
And you know, guys, I think I'm gonna leave the music on the whole time today, too.
Just kidding. I just want Maxwell to be happy.
Yeah, Maxwell, we love the song.
Alright, let's turn the music off for now, though, Maxwell.
You're really killing it with that song.
Why is he still real-looking?
He is real.
Because he's real.
Alright, let's go get to booting these things up.
Can you put Maxwell outside to guard against the aliens?
Well, what if they abduct him?
I do love, in theory, having him, uh, protect us.
But I don't think I could ever live it down if he, uh, got taken.
Alright, come on, come on.
I'm gonna stick to the path so I don't hit any trees.
I'm real bad about hitting trees.
Alright, the path ends here, guys.
Yeah, we're going all the way to India.
Sure as shit, this is our stump.
India.
You think I could hop up here?
I'm alright, that didn't hurt my body at all.
I'm resilient.
Alright, India is back.
Next.
Yankee.
Do I try it?
Do I try to jump from the tippy top all the way down to the bitty bottom
and land on the, on the bike without taking fall damage?
God.
Whoa.
Oh, shoot.
How much damage did that do to me?
This bike can't take much more.
I've already crashed it a million times.
I think I just ran over a small animal.
Whoops.
If an alien offered you a job, would you take it?
I guess it depends on what it is.
If it's maybe, uh,
massaging the babes at the alien babe factory?
Maybe.
But if it was something worse, like,
I don't know,
vivisection on me?
Maybe no.
Unless the alien babes were doing it.
Then maybe yes.
Yes.
Ugh.
No, no, no, no, no.
It really sucks because I know I'm going to pass out again
and then this stupid motorcycle is going to go
shooting off into the woods.
I have to try to make it home.
Ugh.
We're fine.
It's you.
I'm walking.
I'm just going on foot.
We're almost there.
Goddamn stupid.
Ugh.
Help, help.
Alright, well, the motorcycle's trying to beat me home.
It's not even a motorcycle.
Alright, let's go calibrate these, uh,
last little things.
Wait, no.
Real quick.
Let's see
what this sounds...
Maxwell.
Are you alright?
That really looked like it hurt.
No, he's fine?
Guys, he's alright.
He's totally good.
Alright, let's see what we've got here.
Exoplanet.
This could be huge for us.
Sounds like my stomach.
Oh, hey, buddy.
We are listening to Object 1.
Someone's saying some shit.
Oh, God.
And what a beautiful language it is.
Save signal.
This one will be called...
Alien be speaking.
Guys, did you hear somebody approach me?
From behind over here?
Oh, so you've come crawling back, have you?
I'm working!
Give him the hammer.
Give him the hammer.
Hit him.
Is that noise?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Something there! Something there!
And it's moving. This is...
This way. I'm going for it. We're gonna see what this is.
Where's my car? Oh, it...
This could be huge for us. I'm gonna make a quick...
Whoa!
Alright, we should be approaching it. Oh, once I get to the top of this hill.
What? Oh, that's a tree.
See anything?
I thought that was, like, some giant dude up there, like Slenderman or something.
I was like, whoa!
Attempt number 45. Jumping off the tippy-top of this.
And landing on my... on my... vehicle.
Wait.
I'll get there one day.
What if a big UFO flew on by?
Alright, let's start to stop.
I thought that was a little green man right there.
That's just a... Whoa!
This isn't us, by the way.
Oh, Jesus.
Here we go.
This is us.
Boop!
Alright, let's go push this button.
Oh, it's my lucky day.
What?
What do I do with this?
What is this, like...
England in the 1400s?
Why do I have coal?
No one uses coal anymore.
We're on to better, more cool fuels, like...
I don't know.
Oil or something.
Okay.
Food.
Alright, well, now that I've sufficiently trashed this place, I think we're going to...
Oh, oh, not done trashing just yet.
Wait a minute, because...
No, that's not going to blow.
I'm...
Oh!
Oh!
Alright, now that I've trashed the place, time to get out of here.
Oh, I'm burning.
I hope it starts raining before long.
This really hurts.
Okay, no, we're fine.
Huh?
Maxwell, what did you do to my PC?
You've been playing that RuneScape game again, haven't you?
I can hear the virus is coming in.
Hold on a minute.
Oh, Maxwell, you've screwed something up here.
What is all this crap, Maxwell?
You owe me a new PC.
Okay, I can't be mad at you.
What?
Whoa!
Something.
Something big.
What?
Oh my god, what do I do?
Holy snot.
I'm going to investigate.
God.
God.
This is proof.
Definitive proof of alien existence.
I saw their mothership, or maybe their...
Maybe their daughtership or sonship.
It looked kind of small.
What was this thing?
What was this thing?
It was right there, wasn't it?
Already left?
Did I miss it?
Oh my god, this is the worst day of my stupid life.
It's gone.
Anything on here?
There's still something that way.
And it's moving.
I'm coming for you.
You alien bastard.
As soon as I get off this fence.
Oh good, you're here.
Thank god.
Come with me.
We've got work to do.
Alright.
You see anything...
Anything moves, anything out of the ordinary, you let me know.
This is history in the making.
Anything...
What?
Guys, there's nothing here.
Wait.
What is that?
Holy mother of god.
We've got a moving light over there.
Oh my god, we're going.
There it is.
There it is.
It's coming straight for me.
I'm gonna hit it.
Never should have landed here, you alien bastard.
Where am I?
Where is it?
I'm scared.
Never should have come out here.
I should have stayed in the safety of my home.
Huh.
Oh.
There's the bike.
Oh, I must have flown.
Where's the beast though?
Did you see it?
It was huge.
Nine or ten feet tall.
Real ugly bastard.
Wait.
What is that?
Oh.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
I was trying to do that so I could get to the bottom of the hill quicker.
What the hell?
This thing's having a picnic out here.
Oh.
Ah.
Ah.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
nothing out of the ordinary
it's just my mind playing tricks on me
where did it go dude i could have seen this thing
if i didn't
oh my fucking lord don't you ever do that to me again
you took way too long to get here you scared me
i didn't see him when i was approaching right
it was definitely something freaky
we got a blurry image of the creature on discord okay
oh my gosh this is freaky
oh it looks mad
guys i don't think they come in peace look i almost ran his ass over
holy smokes we could sell that pick